Creating Something: Anxiety
February 2nd, 2025
Another day under the full sun of life ladies, gentlemen and my beautiful people in between. I spent this day in a rather nervous state, as I question peoples moods and thoughts. Despite this lingering uneasiness, the world treated me fairly today. There is something that is often bothering my humble soul; is any of my writing worth anything? In all honesty I’m not entirely sure. I lean heavily towards “no” but I want it to. What does a writer have to formulate for it to “Mean Something”? I read books and listen to the beautifully written dialogue of movies and wonder how a director or author could ever come up with something so elegant, something so tragic, something so raw and true. Are my creations imperfect because I’m trying to write something meaningful, should meaning pour out of my hands like sweat, or is it something I have to be in touch with? I always try to pour out myself into the things I create, and often find that my best works are the ones that feel like myself, that are simple and well spoken. Overly complicated media needs explaining to me, I hate that my brain sometimes does not process the 3D world and sees things as flat fields, but the simplicity connects with me. I do not think I’m simple, people often find it hard to understand the way I see things or feel things. I’m overly emotional, dramatic, soft spoken, weak, and nervous. There is so much in my mind that craves answers, and not enough mental clarity to provide them. So the simple comforts me, there is no need to claw through rubble of meaning.
There is much to understand, much that I do not know, much that I question, and I rarely ever come up with answers I could deem worthy. But as the great late David Lynch said, “There’s something inherently captivating about the unknown, about not having all the answers.”
In these moments of tribulations, I love experiencing life as it should be. Spend the day playing something you love, listening to the music you enjoy, be with the people you treasure. My life only gets less and less tumultuous with that on mind. The pretty soul I mentioned not long ago, they remind me of that, remind me of the world I adore, the life I want to live. What a wonderful thing. My dear friends, it is a sunny day, and a beautiful night. I hope you can hear the sounds of nature, the music and groove of everything. And I especially hope it makes you want to dance.
Song of the day:
Two Cute Friends .com 